Losing weight the unfashionable way

No jabs

Caroline jumping for joy because she’s done it!

To enjoy the advantages of age to full advantage, it’s advantageous to be as healthy as possible – would you agree?

Aware that being overweight increases the likelihood of becoming ill in later life, I decided, in my late fifties, that I wanted to enter my sixties having lost the two-stone-too-much that had crept on over the years.

The day after my 58^th birthday I declared, “Right – I’ve two years to get the weight off and keep it off, so I can spring into my sixties feeling youthful – and not mind too much about the zero in my age.”

So I went on a big diet. And absolutely nothing happened. For a fortnight, the scales persisted in showing the same weight despite all my abstinences. So, on top of the virtuous things I was already doing (like cutting out sugar and wine and eating less in general), I started intermittent fasting (not eating after 6pm or before 10am). This two-pronged attack would surely work?

It did not. Well, I lost a couple of pounds, but they were boomerang-y pounds that were no sooner off than back on again. After a month, I’d lost two pounds, many times over – but they were those same two pounds.

So, having tried and failed, there was only one thing to do. Give up. Which I did until yet another dress wouldn’t zip up. Then recalling my vow, I tried again. And failed again.

The beloved belly!

At this point, I panicked – fearing I was doomed to get plumper and plumper, then diabetic – like my mum had, seriously compromising her health.

“I absolutely MUST lose weight,” I said to myself.

“But I CAN’T,” myself said back.

I must! I can’t! I must! I can’t! These voices were fighting in my head – and the trouble was, both were right.

There was a third voice. It went like this: “Phwoar – I love a belly – and your belly is the best.”

This wasn’t a voice in my head. It was a voice in my bed. The voice of my then-quite-new boyfriend. Although I’m not as guilty of this as I used to be, I’ve a tendency to bend and shape myself to please the man in my life. The slimmest I’ve ever been, was when dating a health-fanatic nutritionist 15 years ago. The plumpest I’d ever been – pregnancies excluded – was now, with this lovely belly-loving boyfriend.

“Thanks, but I’m not sure if I love my belly,” I told him, “And I worry it’ll keep getting bigger.”

“Oh – don’t actually get obese,” he said, sounding scared. “I’ve told girls in the past that I love their belly, then a few months later they’ve become quite horribly huge!”

The absurdity of this conversation galvanised me to strengthen my resolve. By now it was January – four months after my birthday self-promise, and along with a sizeable chunk of the population, I was making weight-loss-themed New Year resolutions.

So I tried and failed again – but this time, grace intervened with an epiphany. Instead of “I can’t do this,” the words I heard in my head were, “I can’t do this ALONE”. In a moment of clarity, I realised I needed outside help. “I’ll join one of those fat clubs like in Little Britain,” I decided with a shudder of grim determination.

Then fate intervened. Yes, it really was a very propitious week, with interventions from both grace and fate.

I was due to meet my friend Veronica for Sunday lunch in her neck of the woods. She asked if another friend, Catherine, could join us – and I agreed. “Great,” said Veronica. “Not sure if you’ve met her – she used to be really plump but now she’s really thin after joining Slimming World.”

I said I hadn’t met her but was excited to.

Fast forward 48 hours and Catherine (incredibly slim) is ordering an enormous Sunday roast with a side of extra potatoes. “It’s all free food with Slimming World,” she said without looking up from the menu – intuiting our raised eyebrows.

“Free?” I asked confused, as the menu clearly said £18.50.

“Yes – on my weight loss plan, ‘Free Food’ is a category of foods you can eat as much as you like of. Chicken, potatoes, parsnips, carrots, butternut squash, sprouts, red cabbage – it’s all free.

“I’ve seen their banner outside my local church,” said Veronica. “There’s a photo of a steaming bowl of spag bol – presumably, that’s free too?”

“Yup – we can have as much pasta and rice as we like,” said Catherine.

I thought this all sounded too do-able to be true. “So what can’t you eat?” I asked suspiciously.

“Well, the whole ethos is all about what you CAN have,” she said. “Healthy, wholesome food that you love. But nothing’s forbidden, as long as you write it down.

So that’s where I’d been going wrong. Who knew chocolate loses its calories if you make a note of having eaten it?

As if she overheard my sarcastic thought, Catherine explained:

“Nothing’s banned – but anything that’s not ‘free food’ or a ‘healthy extra’ is counted as a SWIP – short for Slimming World Individual Picks. SWIPs used to be called ‘Sins’ but that sounded too negative. I’m allowed up to 15 SWIPs a day – so I can have daily treats. A small glass of wine is about five SWIPs. Two Maltesers is one SWIP. A scoop of ice cream is about six – so you see, anything’s allowed but you must be very strict about writing down your SWIPs so you don’t exceed your daily ration.”

At this point, Catherine interrupted herself to ask a waiter for a side order of cauliflower cheese “for us all to share,” and said she’d SWIP her portion.

Then she continued explaining. “In the first month you keep a food diary and note down EVERYTHING that passes you lips and hand this into your coach. After four weeks, you’re clear about what you need to do to steadily lose one to two pounds per week.”

I’ve just realised this may be sounding like advertorial (an advertisement for Slimming World disguised as an article). I promise you it’s not! If I’m sounding evangelical, it’s because I’m so thrilled and I want to spread the word. I’m writing this because my friend Rose Rouse (co-founder of Advantage of Age), recently said I was looking slender. When I told her how come, she invited me to write a piece for AofA about my experience.

As you may have guessed, inspired by Catherine, I went home and immediately joined my local Slimming World group. That was six months ago, and since then, I’ve lost 22lbs (just over a stone and a half). Whoo-hoo!

Illustration by Caroline.

I’m six lbs away from my target and I’ll keep attending the weekly weigh-ins until I reach it. I enjoy the group – the positivity is a real mood booster. We’re awarded a metallic-embossed certificate and an inspiring fridge magnet every time we lose half a stone – and I feel prouder of these trophies than a kid who’s been good at the dentist! We’re never ‘shamed’ in the weeks when we’ve maintained or gained weight – but we’re praised for the weight we lose (everyone claps). There’s even a ‘Slimmer of the Week’ prize. We all bring along an item of healthy food (a bunch of bananas, a can of chickpeas or tomatoes etc) to donate – and the Slimmer of the Week takes home the whole lot. It’s fun!

Does the element of friendly competition help? Definitely – because really, you’re competing with yourself to beat your personal best and reach your target weight.

Does the accountability help – having a weekly weigh-in with your coach as witness? Absolutely. I often resist the temptation to nibble something inadvisable, because the joy and celebration of having lost another pound is more desirable than the fleeting pleasure the nibble will bring.

One of the niftiest things about Slimming World is the barcode scanner in the app. If you’re in a supermarket and wondering how many SWIPs a food contains, you can scan it and the app shows “2 SWIPs per 100g” or “FREE food” hopefully. I also love the HiFi bars (short for hi fibre). These are yummy, individually-wrapped biscuit bars in different flavours (peanut, chocolate, cherry etc) and you’re allowed two a day as a ‘healthy extra’. I carry a couple as handbag treats to have with coffee when I’m out.

Now they’re both doing it

The best thing about Slimming World, of course, is that it works. When the pounds started slipping off, I thought, “It’s a miracle!” But Slimming World says ‘it’s science’. The plan is based on scientific concepts of energy density and satiety (how full a food makes you feel), alongside some clever behaviour change psychology.

So… Does the boyfriend miss the belly? No. In fact, he decided to lose his own! Inspired by my success, he recently joined Slimming World himself. After a bit of a rocky start (you actually do need to follow the rules for it to work) he was 3.5lbs down at his most recent weigh-in – and was chuffed to be awarded Slimmer of the Week!