A Brief Manifesto To Ageing Differently

Best Posts Revisited in January

We, at Advantages of Age, thought it was about time, we described our modus operandi, our thoughts, our ways of ageing differently. We fervently believe we can be fun, flamboyant and serious. Please do join in with ideas… Thanks to all those members of our FB group – Advantages of Age – Baby Boomers and Beyond – for contributing.

1) Throw out all those cliched ideas about being wise now that we’ve got older! Okay so we have experience and know stuff but there always lots of holes. Sadly, this wisdom thing is so often a way to slide into cosy superiority – the we-have-something-to-teach-you – modality. Very unappealing. Let’s stay open and curious to learning more.

2) Get rid of those beige/grey/dirty off-white jumpers, cardigans, trousers, skirts. Examine our wardrobes for lapsed-retirement moments – I mean those ‘comfortable’ clothes that look awful and we sink behind! And anything limpid blue with flowers! We’re not demanding flamboyance just suggesting a bit more colour and pizzazz.

3) Take risks. Push the boat out. Dare to meet up for tea with that woman/man that you think is intriguing. Try Bumble. If you think you’re a writer – start writing. Take up powerlifting even if you’ve never imagined yourself lifting weights as an Oldster. Visit that friend in Polynesia. Change our hairstyles. If you’re bald, try a new hat. Try a new hat even if you’re not bald. Spend a whole day not wearing underwear. Flirt with the grocer, the supermarket cashier, the post person – it doesn’t mean we have to marry them!!!

4) We don’t have to retire. There is no obligation. If you want to work a couple days a week – why not. Find something you’ve always wanted to do as a profession and see what happens. On a freelance basis. Turn your passion into something you can earn money from. I’m sure lots of you are doing this already. And I know some of us can’t afford to retire – that’s another question altogether.

5) We can be sexy in our 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond. It’s all a mental state most of all. What is sexy? It’s the twinkle in our eye. Live that mischief. Whirl those hips. Look at lots of videos of older Cuban people dancing. They are so sensual. They don’t care about the shape of their bodies, they inhabit the feeling. Try on a new exciting item of clothing. That shirt from the charity shop. That pair of crazy shoes. Yes to sexiness.

6) Ban our minds from seeing ourselves as old in the conventional manner. Enjoy ‘old’ as a fresh way of being, as a relaxed way of being, as not giving a fuck what others think. Relish the advantages without denying the disadvantages. Reclaim old from its dire pit of negativity, reclaim the sag, dwell in the privilege of reaching older ages.

7) And while we’re on the subject. Monitor our internal ageism. Stop referencing senior moments. Stop deciding that every health moment is related to our age. Our words frame our health. Our bodies age, of course, and we can avoid creating bad health with our words. Be careful how we talk about ourselves. Words are important.

8) Dance, keep dancing, never stop dancing. Dancing is fun, dancing is connection. Look at Eileen Kramer, the Australian dancer who is 113, is in a wheelchair and her hands haven’t stopped. She’s still dancing.

9) Talk about the future. Share thoughts about death and dying. Your funeral. Your will. Don’t bottle it up or pretend it’s not happening. Prepare. Talk to close friends and family about what you’d like. Make sure you don’t leave your life in a mess. De-clutter too.

10) Be creative every day. Plant a seed. Grow an idea. Write. Draw. Garden. Create a new outfit. Think out of the box.

11) Let everyone you love – know that you love them. Don’t be afraid of declaring it.

12) Embrace and don’t deny each new age.

13) Stay current. Read about contemporary culture and the news. Don’t give up on modern life including technology.

14) If the party doesn’t find you, go and find it. Be the fun you want to be surrounded by.

15) Don’t be afraid of still being wild one minute and having to have a nap the next. That’s life as an older person. And it can be intoxicating.

16) Make sure you have friends/a partner/family that you can vulnerable with. Life is so much better when we can admit and be heard through the challenging parts.

17) Find your own exercise – whatever you love from tennis to pilates to football or the gym. And do it to the max. Whatever that means to you. Keep moving.

18) Relish your sexuality. Older people don’t have to give up sex. Many people keep on having sex lives late into their lives. And it’s not an obligation. And it can be a deep pleasure.

19) Dress up whenever you can. Whatever you mean by dress up. Can be posh. Can be maximalist. Can be colourful. And can be flamboyant. Remember that extra effort causes other people to smile and open up.

20) Talk to strangers. Be open to new adventures. Hang out with people that encourage your fullness and encourage theirs. Read Patti Smith’s Just Kids

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